


The Heart Needs Distance To Grow

by allforconniebonacieux



Series: Supercat Week 3 [5]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Again a bit late but shh, F/F, I swear, Light Angst, Supercat Week 3, The week is basically over, a bit of angst, but i will finish it, but it all gets worked out so don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 04:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10712277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allforconniebonacieux/pseuds/allforconniebonacieux
Summary: Supercat Week 3: DistanceCat Grant has long since resigned herself to the fact she could never have Kara. Not in the way she wanted. Not if Kara was going to grow. So she promoted her, and decided to leave, to dive and grieve her loss that she'd never really had. Because why would Kara ever want to be with her?





	The Heart Needs Distance To Grow

It was painful, almost, being so close to her, but never actually being with her. But Cat Grant was not one to cry over a scraped knee, you bandage it up and walk it off, like a hangover, or her weekend with John Stamos. 

 

It hurt, though, watching her make eyes at Olsen, then Adam, then Olsen again, while Cat was left amongst the likes of the IT boy and all the others that sighed over every Sunny Danvers smile, as if it were specifically for them, not just part of her happy attitude. 

 

It hurt, because she was closer to Kara then anyone. They worked together for hours each day, longer than Kara’s contract dictated, Kara accepting office summons on weekends, late at night- she even came in on Thanksgiving, the day of Livewire’s attack. 

 

They could have been closer outside of work too, had Cat accepted Kara’s many attempts at friendly, non-work-related conversation, had she accepted offers of office game nights, Christmas parties, invitations to Kara’s birthday dinners, even. But Cat had turned them down, believing their relationship was better off as professional.

 

It hurt, becoming ever closer to Supergirl, building a rapport, a friendship even, all the while knowing she didn’t trust Cat enough to tell her the truth about who she was out of the suit. And Cat did want her out of the suit.

 

So when they’d stopped Myriad, when they’d stopped Maxwell’s idiotically evil plan of nuking the city, when she’d seen, she’d seen Supergirl interact with two women called Danvers. Hugging them, worrying over them, while she stood nearby, feigning obliviousness; it was time for her to go.

 

She couldn’t be so close, but not quite being there. She couldn’t stay and watch the friendly smiles, watch as Kara grew and blossomed, become the hero as Kara Danvers and Supergirl, watch as she eventually found someone not afraid to be close to her. She couldn’t.

 

But she couldn’t leave without it being said, in the plainest way her pride would allow. She gave her an office, told her to pick a job, told her she was proud. She called her Kara. Her name. The name she’d denied her for long enough. Because Kiera was hers, a selfish, cold move, that kept the distance between them. 

 

But Kara? 

 

Kara was her own person. She would be a brilliant journalist, under Snapper’s tutelage, if not Cat’s own. Kara would grow and live, and move on and forget about Cat, except as an anecdote of who helped her at the very start, tough love in the toughest form, always pushing her until eventually she flew. 

 

Kiera had a place at Cat’s side. 

 

Kara would always have a job with Cat.

 

But Cat would never have a place with Kara. 

 

She couldn’t. It was too late. And Kara was too good for an old reporter, marred by years of cynicism and ignored opportunities, chances she’d spurned in favour of building her empire, building her walls instead of her relationships. 

 

After years of watching those chances slip by, she couldn’t bear to watch it happen now, with Kara. So she left.

 

She asked Carter what he wanted, of course- to be left with his father and his new piece of the week- or go with her and have a private tutor until they settled again. He chose her. Her precious boy, he chose her, a fact she wanted to remain true for as long as she could, before he grew and became his own person, before he left to become the person he was meant to be. She reminded herself to be present, but not pushy. Doing right by Carter was not simply doing the opposite of Adam. But her bond with Carter had always been strong, and she knew he was smart enough to let her know when she went too far. 

 

They decided to go to Opal City, then Metropolis, and then, onto Europe for a cultural tour that would be as far from the busy world of CatCo and business that National City held. It was also home to a few sites of historic alien significance, though no heroes were currently defending it, and Carter was excited to see the sites of battles in which Wonder Woman had fought. Cat had to admit, she was too, though seeing old stills and news reels did remind her of another female hero, from a far off place.

She left Olsen in charge of CatCo, informed the board she would be taking a leave of absence- and bade goodbye to her biggest missed chance. 

 

Kara’s concern over her departure- thinking her dying would be the only reason she would leave CatCo- it was innocent, and so heartbreakingly earnest. But that was Kara. Believing in her, no matter what.

 

When Kara hugged her, she savoured the moment as much as she could, memorising the strength of her body, the smell of her hair, vanilla and that cloying artificial strawberry scent, the sound of her breath as Kara held back tears. She wouldn’t have blamed Kara if she did feel a drop of moisture hit her blouse- she was just as guilty. 

 

Her goodbye to Supergirl was as emotional, but in the sense it was more charged. Cat felt deep down, that if what had gone unsaid, was put out in the open, she might have been able to finalise her world tour plans- find an end date, an idea of when she would return. 

 

When nothing was said on the matter, no truths admitted, she doubted if she ever would. 

 

But she hugged the hero, the second time in as many days, or hours, if the truth had been outed, and hung onto every second of this too- the texture of the suit, the heaviness of the cape when her hand tangled in it, the broadness of the hero’s shoulders- and smell of vanilla and strawberries, that clung to the hero as Cat did.

 

It was with a twinge of regret she noticed the hero’s eyes dip down to her lips as they said their final goodbyes, the pain of knowing that perhaps, she wasn’t the only one thinking this a missed opportunity.

 

But it was too late.

 

With a heavy heart, Cat watched the hero fly off, finished her bourbon, and packed the last few things into a bankers box. The same one she had slammed onto Kara’s desk the day before. She packed up her wet bar, her toiletries from the en suite, emptied each desk drawer with care for the memories they held of the termination letters that left her feeling particularly victorious, the articles she’d written that had been especially cutting, a Pulitzer that had come because of one of them. 

 

The drawer that had held Kara’s resume for two years, reporter written across the front, taunting Cat each time she opened it as the girl had refused to grow the backbone and character Cat knew she needed, was saved for last. 

 

Picking up the box, she made her way down to her waiting car, back to her home, where Carter had grown up, where she’d watched the news report of a woman rescuing a plane, where she’d sat alone on so many nights, drinking, and imagining a world where she had said yes to Kara’s invitations, had gone to office game nights, despite the awkwardness that would have certainly held, had worn a paper hat from a cheap dollar store cracker, listening to bad jokes and making eye contact from across the table. 

 

A world where she’d gone to Kara’s birthday dinner, hung back to be the last, to give her a birthday gift, a real one, not some meaningless card she’d signed and a voucher or gift card to a tacky chain. No, she’d imagined so many scenarios of what could have happened- promoting her then, telling her how she felt, giving Kara herself to unwrap- that thought process was best saved for the lonely nights she’d made it to her bed, where she could divert them away from the imaginary harassment suit.

 

No. She and Kara, could never be closer than what they were. 

 

She dismissed Ella, thanking her for all the time she’d spent over the past few years, and promising a significant reference would be with her in the next few days. She put the box in her home office, emptied its items across the room, the bottles to her cabinet, and the pictures to her desk. 

 

She went and checked on Carter, his face smooth and unworried in his sleep, before carrying onto her own room and preparing for bed. She spent, just a moment, on her balcony there, picturing a scene where a caped hero would come and whisk her away, the Peter Pan to her Wendy. Or a hero coming to tell her that she couldn’t let her go, not without knowing the truth. Or that she couldn’t go, not without knowing that she was in lo- No. 

 

That would never happen. It was time to put some distance between her and Kara. It was not meant to be between them, and it was time Cat accepted that.

 

She turned away, shut the doors and got into bed. As her breathing evened out, she missed the form that came to her window, that was left on the outside of the glass, who put her hand on the glass as she gave a final, silent goodbye. 

 

She’d realised, as she’d flown away from CatCo, that every foot further she flew, felt more and more like a mistake. But as she watched the woman she’d admired, the woman she would move heaven and Earth for, sleep, peaceful and calm, so unlike how she was- how she’d been at work, she thought that maybe it was time to make herself put that distance in.

 

Cat would be safer, away from the hero, and away from her enemies. And besides, why would Cat Grant want to be with Kara anyway? She didn’t have much to offer, not much to make a reason as to pick her, except her heart, and that didn’t seem like enough to offer someone like Cat. You offered them the moon, because they hung the stars.

 

The hero turned, and flew off the balcony, no destination in mind, except away from the temptation that was telling Cat Grant.

It was not meant to be between them, and it was time Kara accepted that.

 

 

 

 

Except, was it now? Because Cat had made it clear she knew. Kara hadn’t tried to hide her relation to Eliza and Alex during Myriad, because one, she’d been a bit busy trying to save the world, and two, she knew Cat would make the connection. And before then, Cat had given no indication of an upcoming promotion, which is why it had spooked her so much when it happened. She’d never once suggested that she felt restless, that she needed to dive.

 

So why?

 

Why was she leaving National City?

 

Why was she leaving Kara?

 

They’d recovered from the Adam fallout, were closer than before even. There were more casual touches, more non-CatCo related conversations. Kara was slowly working her way up to inviting her to this year’s Thanksgiving, planning on using the protection of Supergirl as an incentive, a just-in-case Livewire re-appeared- it was a bit of an underhanded tactic, but one Cat would see through straight away- and she would either reject it outright, or accept it. 

 

Either way, Cat would know, and the cost had the potential to be something magnificent. They had the potential to be something magnificent.

 

She’d finally started to see Kara, and now she was leaving. 

 

Kara stopped, hovering over the city. 

 

No. She was not going to let Cat leave, not without telling her. Whether she told her that she was Supergirl, let that “secret” out into the open, or told her how she felt, she didn’t quite know. But she was not going to let Cat go like that. Not after everything they’d been through. 

 

Not after two years of lattes and layouts, of being so close to her and not saying a word. It was time she said something, before they were further away than just the few feet between desk and office. Before she was on the other side of the country, or the world, and everything that hadn’t been said stayed that way.

 

She flew back to Cat’s house, landing gently on the balcony, and knocked on the door, awkwardly aware of herself. She saw Cat wake up, saw her see her and the shock that played across her face. She heard her heart quicken, just slightly. When Cat opened the door, a robe thrown over her sleepwear, she had barely anytime to question the presence of the superhero at her house, when said hero leaned forward and cupped her face in her hands. She inhaled sharply, as Kara’s moved closer. 

 

“I’ll wait for you, Cat. I’ve waited since 10:15, and I will wait now. But please, don’t run. Dive, but swim back to me.” The words were barely whispered to her lips.

 

“I will, oh darling, I will.” Cat promised, eyes shining, and it was what Kara needed to hear, as she closed the gap between them, and brought their lips together, no distance between them.

 

The night continued, as did their kissing, neither wanting to let go of the other. At some point, they moved to Cat’s bed, where they sat, human in her lover’s lap, wrapped in the warmth of the cape, gentle talking interspersed with kisses that stayed just shy of making another use of the bed. 

 

Eventually, both succumbed to sleep, wrapped up in each other’s arms, which is how Carter found them in the morning, when he came to ask how much he would need to pack for the initial part of their journey. He took note of the hero, but only smiled. They’d finally figured it out. He took a photo of the two on his phone, to print and present to his mother later on, but for now, he quietly backed out, resolving to wake them in an hour, before the flight they would be catching in about seven hours. Although now missing flights didn’t seem like it would be too much of an issue.

 

He shut the door, the soft sound causing the two women to shuffle in their sleep, trying to be ever closer to their love.

 

An impossible task, as they were as close as could be. Just as they were meant to be.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have done one part of the eight or so homework's I've had two weeks of holiday to do? Not good. But I wrote this instead of an essay, so there's something. I'm going to really try and finish the rest of the week, next week. Because nothing is more productive than writing fic instead of homework!


End file.
